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The wobbly blue line (221B)

Since Blooms84 has been discussing her attraction to certain policemen and actors recently, a little something for her and others...

Warning: contains high levels of crack and sexual implications that British people may find alarming.

"I'm away for three days, Greg, and you end up in this, this orgy?"

"Wasn't supposed to be an orgy, My," Greg protested, holding his head. "S'pposed to be a drinking game."

"It was supposed to be the Police Federation Regional Intelligence Forum."

"DCI Luther, DS Ripley and me went to the session on rural crime, and the speaker had brought drinks for after. Short, slim guy called Hamish, absolutely gor...Scottish."


"Highland term, means very Scottish. He was from somewhere called Loch Dubh. Lot of whisky there. Well, there was once."

"Drinking games with a Gor-Scotsman. And then?"

"The Manchester delegation were all female, we thought we'd win easily."

"You attempted to out-drink some Mancunians, Greg?"

"Was getting friendly with DC Rachel Bailey, too. Till I realised if I didn't get away, I'd start a torrid affair with her and it'd end with a messy breakup and me trying to get her run over by a contract killer."

"So instead, Luther, Ripley, PC Macbeth and you returned to your bedroom. The tapes have been wiped, Greg. I wish my mind could."

"Sorry. Dunno what came over me."

"Best to forget it. Mistakes happen," Mycroft said resignedly. After all, his own obsession with the actor Michael Sheen had seemed harmless. Till yesterday he'd somehow ended up sleeping with Tony Blair.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 10th, 2011 10:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, dear God. The last line... Made me choke on my tea.
Nov. 11th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
where would you like your internet delivered?
AHAHAHAAAAA This is going to have me grinning like a loon for the rest of the day.

Also, working in Hamish Macbeth: SO MUCH WIN I can't even
Nov. 11th, 2011 09:51 pm (UTC)
Re: where would you like your internet delivered?
I know Bloomie loves Robert Carlyle. I think she said she's never seen Hamish Macbeth, but under the circumstances I had to work him in as well. I'm afraid I'm no good at porn, but I'm sure I can just leave the exact contents of the wiped tape to people's own imagination...
Nov. 12th, 2011 03:11 am (UTC)
Re: where would you like your internet delivered?
Heh, I think I'm partially to blame for her RC love, for getting her into SGU. But I share her appreciation, so thank you!

My imagination was more than happy to simply vivid imagery (and soundtrack!) to your fic ;P
Nov. 12th, 2011 01:33 am (UTC)
I particularly enjoyed GorScottish and Greg's realization of the fate that awaited him if he got involved with Bailey. and the last line is an awful warning to some of us (blooms84, I'm looking at you...).
Nov. 13th, 2011 07:04 pm (UTC)
I couldn't resist the idea of the Police Federation bringing together police from all over the UK, and as is well known, it is also a hotbed of lust. Though I think technically, it's only for police officers in England and Wales, so while I can easily justify Bailey turning up (plus Scott and their long-suffering boss), I have no convincing explanation for why Hamish is there, other than Robert Carlyle getting everywhere.

As for the last line, I remembered Bloomie saying when betaing a previous fic of mine that thanks to Michael Sheen she now didn't want Tony B convicted of war crimes. Would it have been even worse if Mycroft had fallen for Brian Clough?
Nov. 13th, 2011 10:34 pm (UTC)
it's all going on at the Police Federation
your final question reminds me of that song in praise of Brian Clough from I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again... *grins*

sadly, pairing this Mycroft with Michael Sheen as Robbie Ross would be impossible without time travel, though that's the version of him I find particularly beautiful.

of course Robert Carlyle gets everywhere, and rightly so!
Nov. 12th, 2011 04:59 am (UTC)
THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THIS STORY THAT I WOULD NOT LIKE TO POUR WHIPPED CREAM ON AND LICK . . . AND ROLL AROUND IN NAKED. HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU GET EVERY DELICIOUS MAN--PLUS POOR RACHEL, POOR TRODDEN UPON AND ALMOST RUN OVER RACHEL--INTO ONE FIC. And may I say . . . Lucky Tony! As long as Mycroft gets to have his little indiscretion--Lestrade's orgy is just fine . . . it's all so very very fine.
You're now officially queen of crack and of my heart. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )